Ah, Kids...

~.START.~

Scene is set; B.C.B.F.L.B is on an escalator, going up. Three boys step on a few seconds after her: a tall one - who appears to be in charge - and two little ones, one of whom is a little bigger than the other and therefore probably a little older than the smallest one. 
           The following conversation ensues...

OLDER BOY: (authoritatively) keep your feet away from the edge.
YOUNGER BOY: (chiming in) yeah.
YOUNGEST BOY: (bemused) why?
OLDER BOY: 'cause...
YOUNGER BOY: (interrupting) ...'cause if you don't your feet'll get stuck and then you'll die.
OLDER BOY: (wearily) Zack...
YOUNGEST BOY: (indignant) will not!
YOUNGER BOY/ZACK: (deadpan) will so.
YOUNGEST BOY: (trying to sound brave, but now a little doubtful) nah. Only thing'll happen is your foot'll break, that's all.
YOUNGER BOY/ZACK: (with utter confidence) yeah, and then you'll be in so much pain that you'll be in agony and then you'll die.
YOUNGEST BOY: (panicked) Petey?!?
OLDER BOY/PETEY: (annoyed) ZacK! Leave Kevin alone!
YOUNGER BOY/ZACK: ...(laughs)...

Scene ends; with all those present leaving the escalator and going their separate ways.

~.END.~

B.C.B.F.L.B x

The Previously Unthinkable Has Been Thunked...

And lo, with the gentle and inevitable rising of summer and of warmth, the foretold unspeakable marvel has taken place:
           Alice Collison is wearing shorts.

The world hasn't ended yet.
           ...But, it might...

B.C.B.F.L.B x

Why? WHY??

Finally got around yesterday to transferring some of the snippets of Story from my iPad to my computer - it's growing, still; not very quickly (not very quickly at all), but t'is growing - and getting a copy of the poem ready for this coming Friday - I'm planning to attend a poetry reading / music recital / comedy performance thing in Birmingham, and everybody is welcome to do something, so I thought I might give it a go - and in doing so, I made an upsetting discovery: THREE AND A HALF WHOLE PAGES of The Story have, inexplicably, vanished!
           I searched through both computer and iPad; I even raided both of my email accounts (as it was a transferred snippet, written originally at the library), but, nothing. I had stupidly deleted the emails once I was done with them, and although I had been meaning to, I hadn't got around to making a backup copy of The Story yet, so; whatever t'was that had happened, I couldn't reverse it.
           Gosh, I was upset, I can tell you, both with the situation and with myself.

I know what you're thinking. '...it's only three and a half pages. Just rewrite them, jeeze...'
           But it's not as simple as that. Not only can I not remember exactly how those three and a half pages went, but they were in fact one the of what I call Connective Bits. Put simply, it's a section joining up the parts of Story that I find difficult to connect together. What I generally do is to leave a gap and move on, knowing that at some point the Connective Bit will come at some point and I can slot it in later.
           Anyway, that's what those three and a half pages were. I can remember bring really pleased that at the Connective had come to me, as it had been stewing away somewhere at the back of my mind for quite a while. I can remember writing it, and tweaking it, and being satisfied with the results. I cam remember the passive irritation that due to a problem with the Internet connection, I had to save the attachment as a draft email rather than send it right away. I can remember sorting that little 1st World Problem out later in the day, and then tweaking the Connective Bit a tad more once I'd inserted it (weird thing; no matter what font the Bit is written in, when it's inserted into Word, it automatically switches to Arial: size 8. I have no clue why, but as I tend to write in Times New Roman: size 12 as a general rule, I find that to be passively irritating too)... I can remember all of that, and yet I can't remember what the heck I actually wrote; which is more than passively irritating, to say the least.
           So, I'm having to rewrite it from scratch.
           As I said, it may seem a little thing to you, but to me, it isn't.

Anyway! In other news...
           * I've had my hair cut nice and short again.
           * I've heard back from four of the 8 jobs I'd applied for last week saying "definitely not" and four saying "maybe; don't call us, we'll call you". In the meantime, I've applied for 2 more, and shall keep looking.
           * Mother's plan to Save MJ From Himself is still going well.
           * It is starting to get warmer. I do not like this, at all.
           * In my journey through the world of Excel, I've moved on from Mathematical / Financial Functions and am now working on Complex Functions (joy!).
           * We have some new-second-hand furniture which is tall enough for Grandmama to get in and out of comfortably (she is thrilled) but not - as it turns out - wide enough got the dog to curl himself up on comfortably (he is not thrilled).

And that's my week, folks.
           Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

B.C.B.F.L.B x

Three Pieces Of Good News.

FIRST: it turns out that there is a function in Excel that removes the need for the user to type in all of those awful, confusing and frustratingly inconsistent brackets that appear - at times randomly - throughout the formulas.
           - I tell you, folk(s), I nearly wept with relief when I unexpectedly found this out.

SECOND: I've restarted my membership of MeetUP online, joined a few groups - not many thus far, and one is 'pending' - and have already arranged three outings.
           1. a small art/music evening, held in a cafe in Birmingham.
              - apparently it is a yearly event.
           2. an evening of bowling fun in Worcester.
              - I've already checked; my lack of ability will not be a problem. Nobody else that plans to attend thus far is much cop, either.
           3. a workshop in Birmingham called "Let It Go".
              - this one is only a possible, and is dependent upon me being able to swap one of my shifts.

Anyhoot! That should widen my horizons a little, shouldn't it?
           Get me out and about and meeting people, etc. etc...

THIRD: after a dry spell, job wise (lots of adverts for part time/temporary), things seem to be looking up. I've applied for 8 today.
           - I'm afraid, Best Friend 0.5(1), that the one you suggested was not among them. Sorry. Such a position is just not for me (same reasons as the last one).

So, that's good, eh?
           A nice end to the week. And next week promises to be even better.

B.C.B.F.L.B x

In Case Anyone Was Wondering:

Operation 'Teach An Old Dog A New Trick' has been shelved, temporarily, on orders from t'Vet.
           There are three reasons for this.
           Firstly, since my last post on the subject there has been no further progress in getting Bingo up the mini steps: we are stuck on Step 6 and he is flat out refusing to move past that.
           Secondly, Bingo's back isn't making all that much progress in healing, either.
           Thirdly, upon The Grandmama arriving to visit him (at the time, unbeknownst to me) as a surprise, we have discovered that Bingo is now averse to even approaching the car - even with his Hands Down Most Utterly Favourite Person In All The World sat in the front seat calling out to him and holding out a tantalizing treat to tempt him with - let alone attempting to get into it.

So! T'Vet has advised us to leave all further training for at least a fortnight, to give the painkillers - now increased by an impressive amount - time to take full effect. Bingo, who despite wanting to please us and enjoying the treats he kept being offered was actually getting rather fed up with our insistence that he climb up two steps to reach a sofa that he had no trouble at all jumping onto, seems relieved by the prospect that we've given up.
           He's becoming far less stiff, anyway - if no faster moving - and still appears to be perfectly happy and contented, so that's something.

In other dog related news, Bingo turned 12 Sunday last.
           His present this year - yes, he gets one: shut up - was a fluffy toy that we have named 'duck'. As predicted, he was thrilled with his gift, and has taken great pleasure in ripping duck to shreds.
           So far, I have fixed duck three times.
           In case anyone is wondering why: I do this - knowing what will follow - solely because he enjoys it so much.
           And to answer the next question: I shall do as I always do and carry on fixing duck until there is nothing left to fix.
           So there.

B.C.B.F.L.B x

Oh, For Pity's Sake...!

NOW, something has happened to my left eye!
           It's puffy, painful, enflamed, watering; the works. Allergies? Possibly. Infection? Unfortunately, equally possible. Only time will tell. Either way, it's terribly uncomfortable, I can tell you (and I doubt I look particularly pretty, either).

=SIGHS=

...I'm not having a very good week at all...

B.C.B.F.L.B x

The Good, The Bad, And The Frustrating.

*****

THE GOOD:

           After his initial examination by a Veterinary Nurse, Bingo's prognosis has improved after a second examination by a Vet.
           It's not his legs (caused by arthritis, which is unfix-able), but his back.
           He has injured his back.
           He is now on painkillers to ease the inflammation. The Vet is certain that once the correct level of pain relief has been found (he's been started on the lowest dose), he will revert to normal.
           This is great, and we are thrilled.
           (Bingo is especially thrilled, as he is now getting three slices of ham a day.)

THE BAD:

           1. I broke the mopping machine by slipping with the hose and giving Petal's control board a brief but apparently incredibly thorough soaking. A new control board has had to be ordered, which is both very expensive and will also take several days to arrive. Meantime, we have the Manager of The Store going insane because The Store is being visited by multiple Big-Wigs over the next few weeks and despite mopping all three large drags manually (and boy, that was hard), the floor isn't looking very good.
           2. I caught a stomach bug on Thursday which left me at home feeling sorry for myself. In practical terms, that means 4 hours worth of lost wages, and a day that I should have attended college but didn't.
           3. On the same day that Petal bit the dust, a couple stood behind me on the escalator leading to the Swan Centre decided to spend the trip hurling insults at my back.

THE FRUSTRATING (Part 1):

           After a few weeks of happily chatting away, the girl I've been speaking to has stopped.
           I have no idea why.
           This keeps happening.
           I'm fed up.

THE FRUSTRATING (Part 2):

We are now up to Day Six, in the BINGO STEP PLAN.

           The progress was thus:
           None.

We are stuck on Step 6: GETTING DOG TO GO ALL THE WAY UP THE STEPS.
           There appears to be no sign of moving on from it.
           The Vet assured us that we are "doing all the right things". It's just a matter of time, and given Bingo's advanced age; luck. There is a 50/50 chance of him accepting, or not accepting the idea of walking up and down steps to reach areas he used to jump up to.

Hopefully, given the details given in THE GOOD above, this will become a none issue, but I would like a contingency plan, so I hope that we can be within the 50% of cases that are successful, rather than the 50% that aren't.

*****

So! Overall, I'm not feeling all that great right now...

B.C.B.F.L.B x

The Good, The Bad, and The Potentially Good:

THE GOOD:

           Having completed Book 1 of the Excel portion of my college course, I have now progressed to Book 2 and started working my way through that as well.

           The study of Book 2 is optional. It is actually in fact, a previous version of the same course, which to the uninitiated may seem pointless. However; as quite a lot of 'gumph' (as eloquently put by Tutor 1) has been inexplicably missed out of the newer version - gumph which HASN'T by all accounts been also left out of the exam - every person taking the course it is strongly advised to go through it with a fine tooth comb with the assurance that yes: it WILL be worth the time it will take.

THE BAD:

           Bingo was examined by the vet today.

           As feared, there doesn't appear to be a way of un-stiffening the dog to the point that he has the mobility that he had before. 

THE POTENTIALLY GOOD:

           I have applied for a job. The letter was posted yesterday morning, First Class. It arrived today, and I had an email confirming it had been received at a little after 4-PM this afternoon.

          If I succeed in getting an interview, I shall hear within a week. 

          ...Fingers crossed...

B.C.B.F.L.B x

Well, Hopefully You CAN Teach An Old Dog A New Trick (Part 2):

Day Two and Day Three have come and gone.
           The progress was thus...

Step 4 of Day Two and Day Three: GETTING DOG TO STEP ONTO STEPS.
           This went well.
           Bingo was induced to place both front feet on the top step to reach his treat.
           Cue, much rejoicing.

Step 5 of Day Two and Day Three: GETTING DOG TO REPEAT STEP 4.
           This went well also.
           Cue more rejoicing.
           Buoyed by this success, we felt emboldened to try to progress to Step 6...

Step 6 of Day Two and Day Three: GETTING DOG TO GO ALL THE WAY UP THE STEPS.
           Thus far, abject failure.
           Bingo will place both front paws on the top step with encouragement, but that's it. Once in place, the back of the sofa is close enough - or he is long/tall enough; whichever - for him reach the treat by stretching.

So! Tomorrow, we shall try holding the treat on the top of the sofa's backrest, so that it is in sight but out of reach.

Early days.
           We shall persevere.
           And in our perseverance, we shall prevail.

B.C.B.F.L.B x