Today (going by the advice of Yahoo News. ...Yeah. I know. But still) I decided to take a shower a little before I started out for work today to help me to stay cooler. That was at 4.55am. At 5.30am I started out. We were finally in the throws of the big thunder storm we'd been promised* (although; 'big'? Pah! Why, back in my day...) and it was raining hard, so I took an umbrella so that my newly washed hair didn't get washed all over again. 5 and 1/2 hours after that, I finished work, the sun was shining brightly, the thunder storm was long gone and everything was bone dry. Except me, that is.
Yep. That's right. Not only did my hair not dry (AT ALL) but the rest of me ended up soaked with perspiration as well. Great. It cooled down by a blissful few degrees (outside, not in. The Store can double as a sauna) for a total of 3 hours before the storm cleared and temperatures soared again. Lord only knows what it is like outside now; I am hiding indoors with every window open, every blind drawn and every fan that we own (three) blowing full blast. I can tell you that when I let Bingo out for a wee an hour or so again it was blindingly bright and in the few seconds I held the door open the damn thing warped at the frame (yet again) and made it nearly impossible to close it (yet again)**. So, it seems, it's still quite hot. And, according to the news, destined to get hotter.
These are the types of summers, you know, that I remember from my childhood. Blistering paintwork on the cars, warping of door and window frames, sizzling pavements and roads (do NOT take your shoes off, by the way, not even to take a stone out. One wrong step and you'll blister like there's no tomorrow, Trust me), your whole body slick with sweat (and not in a fun sort of way), grass burning up and turning brown and crispy under a relentless sun... Ugh. I hated it then, and I hate it now.
My one consolation as I trudge about feeling sorry for myself is that come autumn and winter time I, the-fat-one-that-doesn't-really-feel-the-cold-much, will be happy and cool and enjoying myself while everybody else - particularly those skinny enough to saunter round in bikinis - shivers miserably under their multiple layers of clothing. ...And yes, I know that makes me an embittered bitch (after all, it's no-one else's fault but mine that I'm two and a half stone bigger than I should be), but right now I don't care. I just want it to COOL DOWN, NOW, so that I can enjoy going outside again. Or properly enjoy being INside, come to that; I'd settle for that.
=sighs=
At least I was able to make myself vacuum today, so the house looks a little better. It meant that I had to take another shower and put yet more clothes for wash, though. The amount we are using our washing machine right now is obscene. Forgetting the horrendous hike we'll receive on our next electricity bill as a result, the idea of how much water must be being wasted on it makes me cringe. But what can you do? Wash by hand, I suppose, but that'd still use a lot of water, wouldn't it?
=sighs=
Now I've moaned in a disgustingly self centered way - about something that people with real problems would kill me for after they'd finished laughing - for several paragraphs I'm going to feed the cat.
That's productive.
Yep.
=nods=
Alice x
* mother went berserk upon waking at 6 and finding a storm raging outside, and me gone. A recently instated New House Rule now insists that I wake her up should thunder and lightening be occurring at the same time that I am due to walk to work, so that she can safely give me a lift in her car.
** An ongoing problem that apparently happens with crappy plastic doors more than it does with wood ones. Once it gets hot enough, being open for even 1 second is long enough for the plastic to change shape sufficiently for the door to no longer fit properly in its frame; thus rendering it unable to shut. All you can do once this happens is chuck cold water at it, or wait for everything to cool enough to force it. Or both, whilst praying, which is what we've been doing.
I just "googled" the temperature in Kidderminster and it's telling me that it's been in the 70s all week. That just cannot be accurate . . . right? I mean it's hot here and by hot I mean 90s and with very high humidity (hence the young daughter pulling weeds and not me!).
ReplyDeleteI smile through most of your posts. Always a joy to read.
I'm not sure where the number 70 comes in... That might be Fahrenheit? The majority of us measure things in Degrees Celsius/Centigrade (that looks like oC, with the 'o' tiny and in the top corner of the 'C'. So 35 oC). The majority of England has had temperatures from the lower to mid thirties for several weeks now, anyway. We are used to AT LEAST 10 or so less than that even in mid-summer. Coming up to 30 is hot. Anything at or above 30 is HOT. And going past 35 is REALLY BLOODY HOT.
ReplyDeleteWe don't deal well with heat here. Or snow (although I'm better now I have my snow boots. Go me!). Or high winds... We're a pretty bloody wimpish country, to be honest. It's hard to imagine that we ruled a little over two thirds of the earth a while back, isn't it?
In any case, people who do better in colder temperatures (like me and, as it turns out, several skinny people. I truly thought that all skinny people hated the cold - due to lack of insulation - and LOVED the heat. Turns out that's complete arse quite a bit of the time) are suffering right now.
Plus, British people rather like moaning. About just about anything, but particularly about the weather. It's a national past-time.
Alice
x
PS. 'MOST' of my posts make you smile?? Which ones HAVEN'T??
=grins=
x
Ha - I'm skipping right to the PS part . . .I was going to add to my last comment that the post about losing your Grandfather's friend didn't make me smile. But I couldn't remember if you called him your Grandfather . . .and I couldn't remember the gentleman's name. I think it's Stan. But I couldn't access your later posts on my phone (my phone is junk!).
DeleteThis post has certainly made me smile. YOU NEED TO WRITE PROFESSIONALLY. And I say this with confidence as I'm a very avid reader of books.
...that would be "the majority of us here in Britain measure things in Degrees Celsius", that I meant to type, not merely "the majority of us" as inferring the "majority of us everywhere, because anyone who doesn't do it that way is a class A' idiot". Sorry. Missed out a few words. Wasn't attempting to be pointed.
ReplyDeleteAccording to The Grandpapa, Fahrenheit is a far better system to measure temperature by anyway. And he knows a lot of things about of a lot of things, so may well be right. Far more likely to be right about such things than me, in any case.
Wow, that reply was INSTANT!
ReplyDeleteYes, it is Stan. And I call my Grandfather The Grandpapa, but that's just me being silly. Nobody else has to.
Lots of people have told me that you can use phones to access the Interweb in much the same way one would use a computer. I find that idea quite scary, personally. But again, as with the nicknames, that's just I.
Mother says I need to write professionally, too. But as an (equally?) avid reader, I respectfully disagree. One must be able to FINISH at least ONE of the amazingly interesting stories they start to do such a thing, rather than have one's imagination loose interest around a third to half way through and start clamoring one to start something else, which it then looses interest in a third to half way through, etc. etc.
But I do enjoy writing, very much. Particularly when hopped up on Pepsi Max. Pepsi Max has become a writing must, now. Without it I cannot function at the keyboard properly. I have it on good authority that that is due to the caffeine squirreled away inside of it. I also have it on good authority that it is (the Pepsi Max, that is, but probably caffeine, too) incredibly bad for you, but in that respect the good authority can stuff it.
Tara!
Alice xxx