...well, at least, I found it funny...
~START~
Scene is set; mum and Alice are walking into Tesco's. Mum intends to buy her usual weekly lottery ticket and joins the queue for the kiosk to do so, £1 coin ready in hand. Giving Alice her purse she instructs her to purchase a packet of painkillers from the pharmacy before off-handedly remarking that as well as the lottery ticket, she would get a "print out of last weeks numbers" so that we could check them against last weeks' numbers to see if we'd won. You never know, she says (as she does every sodding week); somebody has to win and this time it might be them. They might be millionaires right at that very moment. Alice, used to this but unable to pretend to be optimistic, as her mother does, smiles wanly and agrees that one never knows. Then she leaves. Spotting something in a nearby fridge, however, she comes back again...
ALICE: (hopeful) mum...?
MOTHER: (pleasantly distracted by whatever tune she is humming in her head along with the thought of the possibility - however slim - of being a millionaire) yes darling?
ALICE: If it turns out that we HAVE won the lottery and are millionaires, can I have a 'Crispy Creme' doughnut?
MOTHER: (instantly alert, distracted smile switched off.) Where are they?
ALICE: (alice points at the fridge) there. The sign is in green and white.
(faced with this unpleasant and unexpected hypothetical demand, mum peers suspiciously through her glasses at the £1.35 price tag, then after a few moments of purse-lipped consideration, finally gives tongue)
MOTHER: (very grudgingly) Well. I suppose that that's fair enough...
ALICE: (amused) Ta.
MOTHER: (serious) You're welcome. Now go and buy the paracetamol and remember; The Grandmama wants them coated.
ALICE: (leaves)
~END~
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