It Beggers Belief That I Am Having The Opportunity To Do This Twice In One day, But -

- ladies and gentlemen!
     Allow me to present; the second instalment of Alice's List of What Not To Do.

WHAT NOT TO DO, NUMBER 2:

When one is walking across a public field (that has members of the public both on it and nearby) and one comes across a hefty branch that one decides to pick up and throw for the dog, one would be advised - after picking it up and feeling its weight - against uttering the phrase "Wow! This would make a great murder weapon!"
      And to add; one would be definitely advised, if one absolutely insists upon uttering said phrase, against uttering it loudly.

=spreads hands=

..... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!? .....

Alice x