Adventures With Best Friend 0.5 And His (Camera) Phone:

~.START.~

Scene is set; Alice and Best Friend 0.5 are stood on a canal path on a lovely, sunny day. They are attempting to take some pictures (or rather, Best Friend 0.5 is attempting to take some pictures) of Alice with Best Friend 0.5's Fancy-Dancy-Posh-Has-A-Camera-Phone, so that she can upload them onto her new dating profile. After a few unsuccessful tries, Best Friend 0.5 sends her back to her designated starting spot to try yet again...

BEST FRIEND 0.5: okay, look at the camera. Look straight at it.
ALICE: ...(looks obediently at camera)...
BEST FRIEND 0.5: yes, good. Now, smile, and keep looking at the camera.
ALICE: ...(smiles, still looking obediently at the camera)...
BEST FRIEND 0.5: good! Now, smile, and walk forwards - slowly this time - and keep looking at the camera.
ALICE: ...(smiles, walks forward - slowly - still looking obediently at the camera)...
BEST FRIEND 0.5: great! Keep smiling, and keep walking, and keep looking at the camera.
ALICE: ...(keeps smiling and walking, then notices a nearby dog and stops looking at the camera at precisely the wrong moment)...
BEST FRIEND 0.5: ...oh, crap! Alice!
ALICE: (contrite) ...sorry...

~.END.~

...Ah well...

It didn't turn out so bad, in any case, did it?

Alice x

A Conversation Between Sisters.

~.START.~

Scene is set: Mother and Aunt 2 are finishing off some paperwork relating to The Great Aunt's funds being transferred after her arrival at Holmwood (her new home). As they do so, they are chatting and comparing verbal notes on their most recent visits with said Great Aunt. Alice happens to overhear the following point being discussed as she walks into the kitchen...

AUNT 2: (mid sentence) ...and she can be so... - ugh - you know? About other people. One second she's lonely and wants to make friends, and the next... did I tell you about the man? 

MOTHER: (bemused) what 'man'?

AUNT 2: (emphatic sigh) well, there was this man, apparently, while she was sat in the lounge. He stopped by her chair as he walked past, said "good day", and asked her how she was settling in.

MOTHER: (bemused) ...so...?

AUNT 2: (rolling her eyes) exactly. 'So?', I said. Well, apparently, he shouldn't have, because it was none of his business! Honestly, that's what she said; "what business is it of his?". 

MOTHER: (wearily amused) well, I could be wrong, but he may have been trying to be nice. 

AUNT 2: (another sigh) exactly! I said; "Aunty, he was probably just trying to be nice. Neighbourly, you know", but she wouldn't have it. It was "none of his business how she was" and that was final. I mean, I ask you...

MOTHER: (shaking head ruefully) who was he, do we know?

AUNT 2: oh, I couldn't get to the bottom of that, you know how she is. He could have been one of the carers, or a maintenance man, or a gardener, or a doctor, or a resident, or a relative or friend of a resident, anybody. Anyway, the point is, it doesn't matter who it was -

MOTHER: (intoning, nodding in agreement) ...no, quite right, it doesn't...

AUNT 2: (continuing) - all that matters is that somebody took the time to stop and talk to her, being nice, and she reacted like that. I mean, it's ridiculous! 

ALICE: (chiming in as she sits down in the living room, having listened to this exchange from the kitchen) I think she's being very silly. It isn't as though he demanded to know where her purse was, or her bank details, or something.

MOTHER: (intoning, nodding in agreement) ...well, no indeed. It wasn't as though he asked her something terribly personal...

AUNT 2: exactly! I told her; it's not as though he wanted to know her bust size, or whether she had any knickers on, or anything like that, he was just a nice man trying to be friendly: totally innocent.

MOTHER: ...(blinking at the thought of somebody being asked about their knickers)...

ALICE: ...(blinking at the thought of somebody being asked about their knickers)...

AUNT 2: (noticing the expression on her sister's face) oh, well, you know what I mean.

MOTHER: ...(still staring, eyebrows raised)...

AUNT 2: (pulling a face of her own) oh, stop looking at me like that Wen.

ALICE: (grinning) well, thank you both; this is going on the Blog.

AUNT 2: (half-heartedly annoyed) oh, sod off, the pair of you. You know what I meant...

Scene ends; with the three women breaking into giggles.

~.END.~

Ahhhh. Holidays Are Nice.

Reader(s),
     I've had a nice few days.

So far, I have:

* seen a couple of my friends.
     ~ I've also spoken to a couple more, one, though unfortunately I shan't be able to see them this week.

* visited various members of my family.
     ~ I'd have visited them anyway, being fair, it just felt even nicer than usual

* spent an afternoon giggling and being girly with Cousin 1,
     ~ It turns out that with a different kind of varnish, I suck at painting my nails quite a lot less. They are now a spiffy green colour. I am tres pleased with them.
     ~ I'm also - on the encouragement of Best Friend 0.5, Best Friend 3 and Cousin 1 - trying a different way of styling(...well...ish) my hair. It is now brushed flat rather than fluffed up, and my fringe has been sort of swept to one side. I've been assured by Mother and Cousin 1 that it looks lovely, and having seen it in a mirror, I'm cautiously optimistic, but we'll see. It's very different.

* had a go at refining my daily job search.
     ~ that didn't work very well. In fact, I've made it worse - I am now being bombarded with e-mails and phone calls asking me to apply for jobs I have neither searched for, specified, or in any other way indicated that I want - but no matter; I can fix it quite easily (albeit time-consumingly), and Cousin 1 suggested expanding upon an idea that Best Friend 0.5 had and I had already utilized.

* lain in bed a whole extra two hours and fifteen minutes every morning.
     ~ 7AM, baby! 7AM!

* watched some David Attenborough documentaries that I haven't seen for a while.
     ~ no reason. Just 'cause.

* cuddled the dog an awful lot.
     ~ no explanation needed.

* done a lot of relaxing.
     ~ listening to music while watching a candle flame flickering is very restful.

* sent a few e-mails to girls on the dating website, and joined a few social groups/clubs.
     ~ still nervous about the outing on Sunday. Still going, regardless.

And today, now that I have taken Bingo for his vet appointment, I have a whole afternoon spread out before me with nothing to do. There are things I could do, of course, and there are probably things I should do, but there is nothing that I actually have to do.
     So! I am a free woman.
     Yep.
     =nods=
     My afternoon and evening are completely free of stuff.
     Yep.
     =nods=

...Wow.
     ...This is weird...

Two Posts In One Day. Lucky You(s).

Reader(s)!

I have booked my first Meetup event, via Worcestershire Woo Group.
     It is to be a boat trip in Worcester, on 28th August.

So, 6 days from now, I am going to be meeting a whole bunch of new people.
     Lots (probably) of new people...
     ...A (probably) big, big crowd of new people...
     ...Lots of people, that are new, and I have never met before and have never before met me...

...Gah!
     I am nervous, already.
     Gosh awfully nervous.

I mean, I'm gonna go, because I have made up my mind to go, and have already RSPV'd "yes" (plus. I can't think of a good excuse not to), but still.
     ...Nervous...

=BREATHES, SLOWLY=

Alice x

Holiday; Yea!

Today is the first official day of my week off.

I started in style; with a nice leisurely 2 hour lie-in, then a stroll with the dog before breakfast. I am also due to start out soon to meet Best Friend 3 (along with Baby R) for lunch.

Tomorrow, I shall enjoy another lie-in and stroll with the dog, then perhaps will get a little sewing done (I am mid pig, currently) before heading to the train station for an outing with Best Friend 0.5.

On Wednesday, Cousin 1 will be swinging by for lunch.

Thursday and Friday are currently free from To-Do's, except for Friday evening, but I'm sure that will change soon enough.

Saturday or Sunday afternoon, I am (hopefully) going to be heading back up to the train station and travelling up to Birmingham to meet with Best Friend 2.

...In other news; my new glasses have arrived, as have two polo-shirts for work. The glasses are lovely and nifty with a spiffy purplish/pinkish frame. The polo-shirts are navy blue (as always) and thanks to a change in the type of cloth used nicely comfortable, but they are at the same time also several sizes too big, giving me the feeling of being a small child wearing clothes from a dressing-up box whenever I put them on.
     Also, I have been learning to paint my nails (to date: I suck), and grappling with online application forms (to date: the quickest I have managed is one hour and three quarters, although that wasn't for a job; it was regarding Mother's pension), and have just this morning joined two online lesbian support and social groups; the first called "Worcestershire Woo" and the other "LBQT Birmingham" (lesbians don't exist in Kidderminster, it seems).

All in all, this past week has been pretty productive.
     I am looking forward to the next few days, anyway. I plan on their being far lazier.
     Fun, absolutely, but lazier. Far, far lazier.
     I am on holiday, after all. And holidays are designed for Lazy. Yep.
     =nods=
     ...Yep...

Alice x

I Am Currently Sat In The Library -

- helping Mother fill out her Online Actuarially Adjusted Retirement Application so that she can claim her pension (or I was; she has nipped to the bank to ascertain what a 'Roll No.' is).

...I need gin.

...and a nap...

...and a pony...

...but mostly, I just need gin. Lots and lots of gin...

=SIGHS. RUBS FOREHEAD. DRINKS POP THAT ISN'T GIN=

Alice x

Blah. Cold. Blah.

Reader(s); I am struck ill. A cold has laid me low.
     ...Well, not 'low'. I am still going to work - this is due to two reasons. Firstly; due to the fact that as I am now the main breadwinner I can't just take time off willy-nilly whenever I feel like it unless I absolutely have to, and secondly; because my shifts right now are ridiculously easy anyway - but I am not doing much else (other than sleep).

In other news, as well as reliving the pleasant memory(s) of not one but two previously forgotten liaisons with the fairer sex in my innocent youth, I am also building confidence, chatting to women on a dating website.

Oh, and I am starting to have job interview related nightmares, which seems both grossly unfair and premature, given the fact that I have not yet been invited to attend even one.

That is all.

Alice x

(Yet Another) Conversation Via Text Message:

~.START.~

Scene is set; Alice is watching episodes of M.A.S.H while she waits for her pizza to heat up. After sending a tantalizingly interesting text message to Best Friend 2 hinting revelations brought up during a recent conversation with Best Friend 0.5 - wherein a long forgotten of dalliance with a school friend came to light - another memory that has been hiding in the dark for over a decade jumps out into the light. Quickly, she readies her phone and sends another message...

ALICE: I forgot another dalliance (sorry!). Sara Blount. Very tipsy on homemade wine. Very giggly. Lots of kissing. A bit of cuddling. Very curvy, was Sara; slim, very, but supple, streamlined, soft... =leans head back in happy reminiscence= X
BEST FRIEND 0.5: ah-hah! so now it all comes out (literally).
ALICE: =laughs=. T'was only the two of them, I swear. X
BEST FRIEND 0.5: well, you say that now...
ALICE: I swear, I swear! Scoutess's honour! (...well, there was that one girl in Tywyn during the Great Snail/Slug Uprising, but we swore we would never speak of it...)

Scene ends; with Best Friend 0.5 presumably too overcome to reply...

~.END.~

Happiness Is (Number...not sure):

Happiness is:
     three - female - generations of one family bobbing along in their chairs to the beat of the song 'Walking On Sunshine'  as they knit and sew respectively,

Alice x