A Moan.

Just had a text (isn't it a wonderful invention, the mobile phone?*) as I was leaving work, from Best Friend 1. She asked me if I was free this morning - we often meet up sometime during the week for a cup of tea and a chat - and I affirmed that yes, after nipping home for a shower and change of clothes, I was. Then she asked me if I had £5 she could borrow for gas**.

*SIGH*

I texted back that I had none spare (which is true, thanks to my clothes shopping binge), and I expect that that will be that, but it irritated me, it really did.

It isn't that I begrudge her, because I don't. Or at least, not often. Because the thing is, she - along with her arse of a husband - is absolutely HOPELESS with money. HOPELESS. Due to long term bad luck and now a child*** she is unemployed, and he is on a kind of sickness benefit due to his 'mental health issues'****.
They are in mountains of debt. And while she doesn't often ask me - which she doesn't, comparatively - she does ask other people. I'm not sure how often, but there are several people, both of their families included, that they turn to for financial help, and meanwhile their debts are getting worse, and worse.
I've tried over the past few years to be understanding. I know from first hand experience - thanks for landing us in thousands of pounds of debt then buggering off, dad; appreciated it - how hard it is to get out of debt once you're in it; it just grows and grows and grows and meanwhile you are struggling and still having to pay bills and eat etc. And I know that it embarrasses and upsets her, having to ask (not that it bothers HIM. He couldn't care less about other people. I've actually heard him aggressively pressuring her to beg people - myself included - for cash). But the money they make jointly COULD go further, it really could.

Planning sensibly may not magically solve everything and make the debts disappear (I shudder to think how much they come to now), obviously. But making the right choices they COULD be better off. They really could. I know they could. So much of what they buy could be brought more cheaply, or even gone without completely, but the real killer is the impulse buys they make. Small things, often enough, but those things add up over time. If they just worked together and TRIED, things would be easier, they really would.

I've tried to bring this up, tactfully - Money idiocy aside, I love her, I really do. She is oldest and quite my very dearest friend - and she whole heartedly agrees that they need to "plan better", but fortnight in and fortnight out, nothing changes. And every now and again - it really is rare - she asks me if I have any money that she could borrow.

*SIGHS again*

I'm not being too coherent, I know. Nor am I being very fair, possibly, because honestly; usually I really don't mind. Usually, I inwardly smile a wry smile and hand it over (it's always a small amount). It's when I can't do that, like today, that I feel irritated. I don't know why that is. It should be the other way round, shouldn't it?

Anyway, I just wanted to get that out of myself before I see her. That way I can enjoy her company and not be dwelling on things.

I really do care about her.

Damn-it. Running late. Got to go. Thanks for letting me moan.
Tara for now.


* it's quite scary how powerful they are, actually. With all their videos and internet access and bells and whistles; they've progressed from mere phones that are mobile to mini computers. Plus, all I actually know how to do - other than ring people - is text. But still; pretty cool.
** to any Americans that may be reading; that's 'gas' as in gas to use in the household, for fires, ovens etc. NOT 'gas' as in gas for cars. Over here we call the latter 'petrol'.
*** unemployed and in debt; not the best time to sire a child, I know, but I can't blame her for that. She is a brilliant mum, truly, and in any case, she didn't merely want a child; she NEEDED one, so badly that it was tearing her up inside. I had heard of "baby rabies" before, but until then had never actually seen anyone experience it. It's a scary, scary thing indeed. I hope I never get that. *shudders*
**** do NOT get me started. I could quite easily rant about that for hours. Lets just say he is a lazy, arrogant, selfish bastard who uses his -admittedly real and properly diagnosed - bi-polar disorder as an excuse to not have a job and to act like a complete and utter twat and leave it at that.