Alice Is Pissed Off.

Yeah, that's right, you heard me; pissed off. I am not above swearing when the situation calls for it. And my injuring my back AGAIN calls for it.

I can't believe it. I was just cleaning, doing my job (and not even a particularly vigorous part of my job), when TWANG; I felt it go, and I've been in varying stages of discomfort - with the occasional painful jolt if I move incautiously. Or simply try to bend even a little bit - ever since. It isn't agony, don't get me wrong - although the OW! caused by incautious movement is pretty unpleasant - but it's just THERE, all the time, throbbing away. Painkillers ease it, but only for a while; it doesn't take more than three hours after taking them - and we're talking seriously strong makes-you-drowsy stuff from the doctor here; not the weak ones you can get over the counter - before the massively uncomfortable throbbing is clawing its way back into its rightful place at the very front of my attention.

Damn damn damn! I knew that due to the type of injury it was - not bad, just persistent. Something to do with muscles and nerves - it would be really easy to do it again (the doctor was really frank about that. Depressingly so, actually), but still. This is incredibly frustrating. I mean, I know I move slowly at the best of times, but this is ridiculous. Last time I had to take two days off work - I had tried to 'power through' the pain, which, according to the doctor, was a mistake - to let the "spasm-ing" die down. Thanks to mother helping me with the dog walking and officially relieving any guilt I may feel about slobbing around the house and not doing very much of anything except padding up and down to ease the throbbing - I really can't sit down for very long before my muscles scream at me to please get up and MOVE - I should be able to avoid that. Sundays are easier on my back than the rest of the week anyway, even though I move around a lot more and work for an hour more than I do any other day, because the mopping is practically non-existent. The doctor said that I could do the other cleaning, so long as I was careful, but not that, due to the immense strain it would put on my already strained muscles (hence the two days off). So I shouldn't have anymore time off, hopefully. Fingers crossed. I can't afford to lose any more money.

So here I am; sat (though not for long. I need to get up again very soon), uncomfortable and pissed off and quite depressed about things, which I know is pathetic when you compare my minor inconvenience to the very real problems people are facing all around the world right now - including mind numbing terror, starvation, disease and, yes; agonizing pain - but still, it is how I feel. Uncomfortable, pathetic, pissed off and depressed.

 Also, I shaved my legs yesterday - before the back thing - and thought I'd been really careful and meticulous, then found that I'd missed a strip about half an inch wide right up the back of my left calf. I tried to rectify it this morning - yes, after the back thing. And yes, it hurt, but damnit, I was pissed off already; I did not want hairy legs as well - but was a little too over-vigorous with the razor and ended up grazing myself all along the calf, which bled enough for me to have to plaster it up. All the way up, from just above my heel to just a couple of inches from the crook of my knee. So I am uncomfortable, penned in, pissed off and with a stinging leg sporting plasters half way up it.

Great.

Ok. Moan over. I'll be happy and less of an ungrateful brat tomorrow, I'm sure I will.

xxx