Dear....

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Dear Toddler;
     I am very happy that you are such a happy seeming little chap. And I am glad that while your mother and her friend waited for nearly an hour for a member of staff to find or fix something for them - and spent their time waiting lavishing all of their attention on your baby sister rather than paying any attention on you - you found something to do that made you happy, even if it did involve running around in mad zig-zags and circles, some of which crossed repeatedly over the wooden floor(s) I was trying to mop.
     Just one thing, though: was it really necessary to scream at the top of your considerably powerful lungs while you did it?

 Yours (with a fond smile and a lingering headache),
Alice x


Dear Mother of Toddler/Mother's Friend;
     I hate you.
     Paying no attention to your child - who doesn't know any better and was just being a child - while he not only wrecked the work you could see me trying desperately to get done but also shouted and screeched painfully loudly is one thing (I don't think it's very nice, but I can't make you do otherwise). Allowing said child to actually leave your line of sight in a DIY store - a place filled with dangers you apparently can't comprehend - however, is so unutterably reprehensible as beggers belief.
      Yes, I know the baby you are jiggling up and down is adorable, but you have TWO children, not one. Act accordingly!

You are incredibly lucky that when you finally left the store that boy was still intact.

Yours (glaring with distaste),
Alice


Dear Bingo;
     By the time I took you on your evening walk, I was visibly at the end of both my energy and patience. Exhausted, cranky, achy...I'd had enough. All I wanted was a nice, peaceful and, more importantly, uneventful, stroll through the woods with my (obedient) dog.
     What I got was a stroll through the woods where you refused to come when called and proceeded to have a go at every naughty activity I get cross with you for within the course of 60 minutes.

.....Ta for that.

Yours (ruefully),
Alice x


Dear Mother;
     Without your moral and practical support, I would have gone insane by now.

.....Ta for that.

Yours (lovingly),
Alice x

***

...can you tell my day has gone well?

Alice x